Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Never Ending...
Like i always say, problems never stop coming into my world. One after another, my dad is down with some serious illness. Hai... all ready to prepare that he might be hospitalize anytime. I just can't take it anymore. Why is life so tough... one after another...
dad said... he;s wiating for the report. i have no idea wat's the illness about but its more to the lungs issue i think. he told me this sentences dat really woke me up. " If this report shown the consdition is serious, life span could be 2 mths -3mths". The first thing tat came to me is... please dun do this to me... i can't afford to lose anyone.. someone close in my life. Please dun be cruel to me time after time. Giv me a way out. what lost had been lost and i can't do anything but jus dun take anyone away from me anymore. bcos i noe... i won't be able to take. it. i really hope.. my dad was jus saying... purely scaring me off only. I hope...
if god wanan take someone away from me again.. i rather to be the one to be taken away. bcos losing someone is too much for me to take. once... twice.. thrice... der's no way i can take it anymore. there' shld be a limit for being cruel.
I din even have the chance or the courage to tell my dad, that my vision is gettin back recently. And the endless headache that's killing me occasionally. What am i suppose to do? my memory is weakening... and yet there's nothing i can do. But keep feeling Sick all these while.
Myabe it shld be time to do a full body check up. And to see how much longer i can live on .
Like i always say, problems never stop coming into my world. One after another, my dad is down with some serious illness. Hai... all ready to prepare that he might be hospitalize anytime. I just can't take it anymore. Why is life so tough... one after another...
dad said... he;s wiating for the report. i have no idea wat's the illness about but its more to the lungs issue i think. he told me this sentences dat really woke me up. " If this report shown the consdition is serious, life span could be 2 mths -3mths". The first thing tat came to me is... please dun do this to me... i can't afford to lose anyone.. someone close in my life. Please dun be cruel to me time after time. Giv me a way out. what lost had been lost and i can't do anything but jus dun take anyone away from me anymore. bcos i noe... i won't be able to take. it. i really hope.. my dad was jus saying... purely scaring me off only. I hope...
if god wanan take someone away from me again.. i rather to be the one to be taken away. bcos losing someone is too much for me to take. once... twice.. thrice... der's no way i can take it anymore. there' shld be a limit for being cruel.
I din even have the chance or the courage to tell my dad, that my vision is gettin back recently. And the endless headache that's killing me occasionally. What am i suppose to do? my memory is weakening... and yet there's nothing i can do. But keep feeling Sick all these while.
Myabe it shld be time to do a full body check up. And to see how much longer i can live on .
what we could have been, 24.7.07.
