Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Always when night falls upon, we start thinking about things that we don't usually do. At the same time, listening to some pretty emotional songs like the on playing in my blog.
Looking back at the journey this far, the good and bad times that i make me who i'm here right now. For the past 5 years, i really felt i been through more than anything part of my life. Life is always tough as we grow older and time just don't seems to give a helping hand.
Been 10 years, when i start realizing the thing called "emotions" that we don't really come across when we are still a kid. Gaining and losing is part of life, when there's a start there's always an end to it. This is reality and like i always say reality is cruel. Looking back what i have lost, and counting to the days that i would get over it and be alright again. As i count on, i realise i lost count towards it and i started to rewind back my memories. The good times when i have a good laugh with you, laughters that i thought would be always be with me. Those laughters is the best pictures in my life and i thought i could get hold of it. But till now, i realise i failed to hold on to what bring happiness. I can't help but realise i was too persistent to what i used to hold on to. I always thought when i say no, it would always be a no. I thought my mind will conquer my heart, but i realise it don't happen that way. My mind is in the lost mist and my heart is entangled with lots of memories held within.
I asked myself what have i done to make myself losing things that i cherished the most and i always say it don't matter. And right now, we all know that its impossible to bring it back to the starting point. I should know that it's over and i should get over it and stay alive ahead and stop living within memories. But then, i can't help but no matter where i will be looking upon the dark blue sky, i always remember you and those memories started to replay upon the sky. Din we promised that journey would last forever, but why it ended so suddenly without a warning that get me ready for all these coming to me. I don't forsee this to come my way, i thought it was strong enough to withstand forever but i din know the foundation is this weak and so fragile that it can't withstand small mistakes. I made a mistake for believing forever exist.
IF i really make a mistake, i would do anything to resolve it but this time round i know it very well, the only thing left behind is "Let It Go". I will learn to get over and forget about what memories bring. Those memories that brings the brightest shine of laughters only plays a part of upsetness when memories flash back.
Promises are still vivid, and yet it have to be forsaked. Grant me a wish, take away my memories and the place that belongs to you. I don't have a strong heart to withstand all the pain that it brings.
From the day, when my existance no longer important deep inside, i've decided to allow everything to be bury and be forgotten one day. I guess more or less am there, other than occasionally some place, some weather, some things and some songs will remind me of it. Believe me, am trying very hard to start a new life all by myself to stand up again and be who i used to be. I spent too many time being upset and adding burden for others. I'm responsible for the happiness of the people around me. I rather choose to see them happy than to see them being upset bcos of my sadness. I wish happiness is showered upon people around me and those i care. I spread my happiness upon everyone of you. I used to priortise a few people but this time i learn to open my happiness and concerns to larger group of people. So people around me , always remember to be happy always. Because we only live once, life don't repeat or turn back. What have been done wrong had already happened, what lost had been lost, and what' ending is is the final say. Let's not take it too hard upon ourselves, we should all learn to accept and let go. I really believe what's mine will always be mine and what's not will never be. Probably like Bestie said, one day it might come back again and it might be better off than what it used to be right now. I agreed! If one day, it meant to be we will be meet again, and we will learn to cherish it more than ever. And even if it doesn't meant to be, we should also smile and wish them all the best. Because these are still people once close to my heart and for who i'm i still hope the best for them, that's when i hope they live well in the years to come even if am not around irritating and motivating them.
Nobdy can always be with someone always, one day human still parts. Perhaps, like what she used to tell me, we should be glad at least we met and we have memories that will last till forever. We met, we laugh, we cried, we fight, we created memories that no one can do the same. We went through a journey that no one could replace and we should be gald we met. Imagine if we din meet probably we won't get to remember someone forever and you won't understand how great life would be having this some1 in life. No matter how much i complained, i still appreciate the memories you brought to me. To me you will always be the irreplacable one bcos no one would bring me through the journey like you did. Probably, one day i would forget you but at least i been thrgh a happy times together. At least, once before in my life because of your existance i smiled. So even if one day you're forgotten, you should at least know once in my life, you played an important role in bringing happiness. Bcos no much people in life bring happiness like you did. Nobody like you impact my life this much.
LEt nature takes it course, if one day i forgot all these it might be a blessing. If time doesn't help to cure then just let all these be fine cushion for the older days when i will still vividly remember everything in this journey.
Looking back at the journey this far, the good and bad times that i make me who i'm here right now. For the past 5 years, i really felt i been through more than anything part of my life. Life is always tough as we grow older and time just don't seems to give a helping hand.
Been 10 years, when i start realizing the thing called "emotions" that we don't really come across when we are still a kid. Gaining and losing is part of life, when there's a start there's always an end to it. This is reality and like i always say reality is cruel. Looking back what i have lost, and counting to the days that i would get over it and be alright again. As i count on, i realise i lost count towards it and i started to rewind back my memories. The good times when i have a good laugh with you, laughters that i thought would be always be with me. Those laughters is the best pictures in my life and i thought i could get hold of it. But till now, i realise i failed to hold on to what bring happiness. I can't help but realise i was too persistent to what i used to hold on to. I always thought when i say no, it would always be a no. I thought my mind will conquer my heart, but i realise it don't happen that way. My mind is in the lost mist and my heart is entangled with lots of memories held within.
I asked myself what have i done to make myself losing things that i cherished the most and i always say it don't matter. And right now, we all know that its impossible to bring it back to the starting point. I should know that it's over and i should get over it and stay alive ahead and stop living within memories. But then, i can't help but no matter where i will be looking upon the dark blue sky, i always remember you and those memories started to replay upon the sky. Din we promised that journey would last forever, but why it ended so suddenly without a warning that get me ready for all these coming to me. I don't forsee this to come my way, i thought it was strong enough to withstand forever but i din know the foundation is this weak and so fragile that it can't withstand small mistakes. I made a mistake for believing forever exist.
IF i really make a mistake, i would do anything to resolve it but this time round i know it very well, the only thing left behind is "Let It Go". I will learn to get over and forget about what memories bring. Those memories that brings the brightest shine of laughters only plays a part of upsetness when memories flash back.
Promises are still vivid, and yet it have to be forsaked. Grant me a wish, take away my memories and the place that belongs to you. I don't have a strong heart to withstand all the pain that it brings.
From the day, when my existance no longer important deep inside, i've decided to allow everything to be bury and be forgotten one day. I guess more or less am there, other than occasionally some place, some weather, some things and some songs will remind me of it. Believe me, am trying very hard to start a new life all by myself to stand up again and be who i used to be. I spent too many time being upset and adding burden for others. I'm responsible for the happiness of the people around me. I rather choose to see them happy than to see them being upset bcos of my sadness. I wish happiness is showered upon people around me and those i care. I spread my happiness upon everyone of you. I used to priortise a few people but this time i learn to open my happiness and concerns to larger group of people. So people around me , always remember to be happy always. Because we only live once, life don't repeat or turn back. What have been done wrong had already happened, what lost had been lost, and what' ending is is the final say. Let's not take it too hard upon ourselves, we should all learn to accept and let go. I really believe what's mine will always be mine and what's not will never be. Probably like Bestie said, one day it might come back again and it might be better off than what it used to be right now. I agreed! If one day, it meant to be we will be meet again, and we will learn to cherish it more than ever. And even if it doesn't meant to be, we should also smile and wish them all the best. Because these are still people once close to my heart and for who i'm i still hope the best for them, that's when i hope they live well in the years to come even if am not around irritating and motivating them.
Nobdy can always be with someone always, one day human still parts. Perhaps, like what she used to tell me, we should be glad at least we met and we have memories that will last till forever. We met, we laugh, we cried, we fight, we created memories that no one can do the same. We went through a journey that no one could replace and we should be gald we met. Imagine if we din meet probably we won't get to remember someone forever and you won't understand how great life would be having this some1 in life. No matter how much i complained, i still appreciate the memories you brought to me. To me you will always be the irreplacable one bcos no one would bring me through the journey like you did. Probably, one day i would forget you but at least i been thrgh a happy times together. At least, once before in my life because of your existance i smiled. So even if one day you're forgotten, you should at least know once in my life, you played an important role in bringing happiness. Bcos no much people in life bring happiness like you did. Nobody like you impact my life this much.
LEt nature takes it course, if one day i forgot all these it might be a blessing. If time doesn't help to cure then just let all these be fine cushion for the older days when i will still vividly remember everything in this journey.
what we could have been, 6.11.07.
