Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Time is passing by...
Listening - Sarah Mclachlan - Angel
A glance we are here at the end of Nov 2007, sometime i really wonder how much time i neglected doing the right thing.
Yes once again am feeling a lil down at times, probably because we are approaching to the end of the year and that's when you start reflecting what you've been doing for the entire year. Every year starts and ends, without fail eveyone will say and pray that next year will be a better year. Everyone used told me this just like what they did the previous year in 2006, when they assured me that 2007 will be a better year for sure.
Looking back 2007, there are definitely happiness and sadness in every stage of life. This year just like the other previous years, sadness took up a larger portion of life. And those sadness have already overlapped those happiness, and i've already forgotten what happy times like. Every now and then, things goes up and down but this year it had always been down till the moment i choose to give up. Am very distracted with what had been happening in my life these while, its so hard to find peace when sadness never stop running after me. Is life suppose to be disheartening? Where did those happiness went to and those promises that we made once before that we thought would last forever... who said we will always sail on down the journey, was it just me alone or it used to be promised.
Everyone suppose to be stronger as we grow older but why do i feel like am weaker every now and then as i grow up. Growing up isn't as fun and enjoyable like i thought it would be, these 5 years have made drastic change in life. One after another am losing part and pieces that form the importance wihtin me. Now, i finally understand that its really easy to place people in priority in life or even within us, the hardest part is removing it when it's been rooted and planted deep inside. To root it out the entire piece of it within would probably the most tedious job to do and it would either made you bleed or tears.
Tears are amazing thing, you don't know how its formed but when the time and emotions is right, it would just flow down without any hold back. People always say am a strong kid since i was young, dropping a tear will never take place in me. But then the strongest side of a person is usually the surface, how would we really understand how others feel when are just spectators, to really feel how other feel is a near to impossible task. Every tears i dropped, there is a reason behind it. The reason would only be deep inside me i can't take it anymore. When tears start to flow like its beyond control, that's when you know you've been holding on to be strong for too long.
Reflecting the journey that i came from, its tough fighting in between emotions and mind. The toughest thing in life is to act and behave against what you hoped for. My egoistic character will never allow me follow my heart and thus mind conquers my life as part of egoistic virus. There are alot of things which i really hope i dealed it with heart but i knew it very well i will never to. I would rather choose to be cool just as if it don't matter and walk off and hoping myself that i will never look back and regret . Someone always tell me, "Always follow your heart", but i never take that into my life's principle. Touching my heart so as to find out a way out, and right now i realise my heart is cold. My heart tears too much and its turning cold, it no longer feel what it used to. My heart stop pumping for my life, my passion and dreams, as well as those promises that was once made.
Everything that happend is the cause of why i can no longer keep the promises that i used to make. That's when journey can never be continued, somethings probably just need to end the way it has to be. Fate plays a part and that's when fate don't exist in my world ever.
Listening - Sarah Mclachlan - Angel
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
A glance we are here at the end of Nov 2007, sometime i really wonder how much time i neglected doing the right thing.
Yes once again am feeling a lil down at times, probably because we are approaching to the end of the year and that's when you start reflecting what you've been doing for the entire year. Every year starts and ends, without fail eveyone will say and pray that next year will be a better year. Everyone used told me this just like what they did the previous year in 2006, when they assured me that 2007 will be a better year for sure.
Looking back 2007, there are definitely happiness and sadness in every stage of life. This year just like the other previous years, sadness took up a larger portion of life. And those sadness have already overlapped those happiness, and i've already forgotten what happy times like. Every now and then, things goes up and down but this year it had always been down till the moment i choose to give up. Am very distracted with what had been happening in my life these while, its so hard to find peace when sadness never stop running after me. Is life suppose to be disheartening? Where did those happiness went to and those promises that we made once before that we thought would last forever... who said we will always sail on down the journey, was it just me alone or it used to be promised.
Everyone suppose to be stronger as we grow older but why do i feel like am weaker every now and then as i grow up. Growing up isn't as fun and enjoyable like i thought it would be, these 5 years have made drastic change in life. One after another am losing part and pieces that form the importance wihtin me. Now, i finally understand that its really easy to place people in priority in life or even within us, the hardest part is removing it when it's been rooted and planted deep inside. To root it out the entire piece of it within would probably the most tedious job to do and it would either made you bleed or tears.
Tears are amazing thing, you don't know how its formed but when the time and emotions is right, it would just flow down without any hold back. People always say am a strong kid since i was young, dropping a tear will never take place in me. But then the strongest side of a person is usually the surface, how would we really understand how others feel when are just spectators, to really feel how other feel is a near to impossible task. Every tears i dropped, there is a reason behind it. The reason would only be deep inside me i can't take it anymore. When tears start to flow like its beyond control, that's when you know you've been holding on to be strong for too long.
Reflecting the journey that i came from, its tough fighting in between emotions and mind. The toughest thing in life is to act and behave against what you hoped for. My egoistic character will never allow me follow my heart and thus mind conquers my life as part of egoistic virus. There are alot of things which i really hope i dealed it with heart but i knew it very well i will never to. I would rather choose to be cool just as if it don't matter and walk off and hoping myself that i will never look back and regret . Someone always tell me, "Always follow your heart", but i never take that into my life's principle. Touching my heart so as to find out a way out, and right now i realise my heart is cold. My heart tears too much and its turning cold, it no longer feel what it used to. My heart stop pumping for my life, my passion and dreams, as well as those promises that was once made.
Everything that happend is the cause of why i can no longer keep the promises that i used to make. That's when journey can never be continued, somethings probably just need to end the way it has to be. Fate plays a part and that's when fate don't exist in my world ever.
" I need some distraction, oh, beautiful release
Memory seep from my veins
Let me be empty, oh, and weightless
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight "
Memory seep from my veins
Let me be empty, oh, and weightless
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight "
what we could have been, 28.11.07.
