Monday, January 28, 2008
Refreshing back...
Taking a look around people in my life, i start to realize as time passes by there's changes. People change as time passes by, be it good or bad. reflecting it upon myself, i start to think that if am up to standard. Considering myself as a good friend or not, and i came up with a good conclusion. Am a good person or a fren but i dun have a good patience or temper. This is is the fall part of me, which i can never change. This is implanted in me or is this accumulated? I start reflecting the days when am younger, is temper so uncontrollable and patience level are so limited? Am i spolit for bad temper and limited patience and what's the cause of this explosion.
am starting to be stucked in between the past and the future to come. I would really want to walk towards the future and yet i can't hold but keep looking back at the past. the past brought too much impact to my life, be it good or bad it have already put some chemical reaction on me. I miss those days when everything is fine and you never have to think why is this happening and if only... I hate if only because its the time when you start regretting about the past. I don't always make mistakes but iguess these few years i got myself in deep mistakes that can never be resolve regardless of what. I don't always regret because am ready to bear the consequences of it. And that's why right now, i rather choose to le ti tbe the way it is rather than resvoling it and am bearing the consequences for the irriational action that took place once before. Its always easy to say than to do, whenevern you say "forget it , doesn't matter" but the next moment will it be really forgotten or its just going to leave a deeper trace within.
This year, am keep myself busy buried with work so that i won't have the time to think about other stuffs. And it seems to work only at certain time in the night whne you're alone, those memories start flowing back. I just hate to be alone becasue i don't ample time ot htink about things that i shldm't be. I need to get something out of my mind.
Work is really tiring recently, esp when events are piling up one after another. Travelling become another issues and i really start to be sick of travelling. the 6 days hanoi is really tiring for me and the coming kl trip tmr and the soon bkk trip during cny period. april is going to phuket. and wat's next i got 30 events, in btw philippines, KL and thailand. am taken out form the ho chim minh event on may. so its isn't tat bad. i need to find some time of my own to catch up with my fellows if not soon i really end up with no friends.
Need to catch some sleep before travel to KL.
Taking a look around people in my life, i start to realize as time passes by there's changes. People change as time passes by, be it good or bad. reflecting it upon myself, i start to think that if am up to standard. Considering myself as a good friend or not, and i came up with a good conclusion. Am a good person or a fren but i dun have a good patience or temper. This is is the fall part of me, which i can never change. This is implanted in me or is this accumulated? I start reflecting the days when am younger, is temper so uncontrollable and patience level are so limited? Am i spolit for bad temper and limited patience and what's the cause of this explosion.
am starting to be stucked in between the past and the future to come. I would really want to walk towards the future and yet i can't hold but keep looking back at the past. the past brought too much impact to my life, be it good or bad it have already put some chemical reaction on me. I miss those days when everything is fine and you never have to think why is this happening and if only... I hate if only because its the time when you start regretting about the past. I don't always make mistakes but iguess these few years i got myself in deep mistakes that can never be resolve regardless of what. I don't always regret because am ready to bear the consequences of it. And that's why right now, i rather choose to le ti tbe the way it is rather than resvoling it and am bearing the consequences for the irriational action that took place once before. Its always easy to say than to do, whenevern you say "forget it , doesn't matter" but the next moment will it be really forgotten or its just going to leave a deeper trace within.
This year, am keep myself busy buried with work so that i won't have the time to think about other stuffs. And it seems to work only at certain time in the night whne you're alone, those memories start flowing back. I just hate to be alone becasue i don't ample time ot htink about things that i shldm't be. I need to get something out of my mind.
Work is really tiring recently, esp when events are piling up one after another. Travelling become another issues and i really start to be sick of travelling. the 6 days hanoi is really tiring for me and the coming kl trip tmr and the soon bkk trip during cny period. april is going to phuket. and wat's next i got 30 events, in btw philippines, KL and thailand. am taken out form the ho chim minh event on may. so its isn't tat bad. i need to find some time of my own to catch up with my fellows if not soon i really end up with no friends.
Need to catch some sleep before travel to KL.
what we could have been, 28.1.08.
