Monday, April 07, 2008
do re me fa so..
Bro told me few days he bump into a friend of mine, to his surprise that i din know about.Maybe he's slow that he din realise the change in my life. He have yet to realize in the shortest time, i've lost more than what he thot i did. This sudden topic, make me uneasy and once again my mind keep running and generating the memories that i used to lock in of the corner. And once for all, it gushed out like river and that's when i kept thinking n thinking...Sometime back, Jane told me she bumped into someone as well. And she refuse to tell, bcos she knows that i will be affected. I thought i won't be, and i still mentioned to her " don't be silly! why worry abt telling me. am happy to know the someone is good" But just one turn after hearding that those painful images of that someone start flashing back into my mind and nothing esle but those terrible feeling. And it took me a few days, keep thinking about it why things have to this far. I wonder... when will i see you personally again. maybe it will never happen or it will. Does it really matters to me? Maybe to me, knowing that they are fine and sound is good enough for me. I always tells the rest like nana and jane, just by knowin that they are good and well taken off. Frankly speaking, all these are good enough. It's really good enough.
I wonder was it because i've too much excess time and i start thinking and being upset about things that i shouldn't be. Or its just telling me it still matters to me... I don't hav an answer to it and don't wish to find out.
" I created the what i have all by myself but i used my own hand to destroy everything that used to be"
Bro told me few days he bump into a friend of mine, to his surprise that i din know about.Maybe he's slow that he din realise the change in my life. He have yet to realize in the shortest time, i've lost more than what he thot i did. This sudden topic, make me uneasy and once again my mind keep running and generating the memories that i used to lock in of the corner. And once for all, it gushed out like river and that's when i kept thinking n thinking...Sometime back, Jane told me she bumped into someone as well. And she refuse to tell, bcos she knows that i will be affected. I thought i won't be, and i still mentioned to her " don't be silly! why worry abt telling me. am happy to know the someone is good" But just one turn after hearding that those painful images of that someone start flashing back into my mind and nothing esle but those terrible feeling. And it took me a few days, keep thinking about it why things have to this far. I wonder... when will i see you personally again. maybe it will never happen or it will. Does it really matters to me? Maybe to me, knowing that they are fine and sound is good enough for me. I always tells the rest like nana and jane, just by knowin that they are good and well taken off. Frankly speaking, all these are good enough. It's really good enough.
I wonder was it because i've too much excess time and i start thinking and being upset about things that i shouldn't be. Or its just telling me it still matters to me... I don't hav an answer to it and don't wish to find out.
" I created the what i have all by myself but i used my own hand to destroy everything that used to be"
what we could have been, 7.4.08.
